Emmanuel Suttner 

 

Gateh gateh paragateh*

 

Its not easy being a poet
with a disordered personality 
I stand and look at plants 
and animals wistfully
I snap at people who snap at me
at the merest thought 
I'm being treated as if I don’t matter 
I watch my fragile self-belief 
fall off its perch and shatter
I stop speaking to you
but it punishes me
I sentence myself
to hours in solitary
but suddenly from nowhere - space
and I can see things from a different place
so often I am called and become
a grateful state of grace
compassion and resilience come easily 
I love to set things straight
my Teacher in whose word I trust
has led me through the gate

* Sanskrit – the heart sutrah – “Going, going, going on beyond”

 

 

 

 

Agent
I never did anything good or bad -
it was the desire for applause
or to shrink so small
death would not find
my hiding place
'twas the body's cells
the moon, the stars
the knife, the wind, the rain
I watched them close and open
pretending it was me

 

 

 

 

 

Immanuel Suttner lives in Sydney where he currently nominally works as a counsellor. He has had several fictitious companies and enterprises which attracted requests for internships, but never any actual business. He enjoys permaculture gardening and is ably assisted by two chickens and an Israeli Wolfhound. He has published fiction, nonfiction, and poems in Australian, South African, US, Israeli, UK and Indian journals and anthologies.


He has received only one reward for his work, and very little money, but still likes to try and capture feelings and perplexities with words. In 2007 his first poetry collection – Hidden & Revealed - was published and he is currently working towards publishing a second collection.