Sudeep Adhikari      


Life Nothingness



Corpuscular me
ecstasy-atoms, life-monads
delight of your light
light of my delight
I am the vapor insane
of your seething plasm
going Brownian
with protean lust.

I am both
the ache
of your melancholia primal
and the rapture
of your singular orgasm
I am your most
ancient beloved
yet distantly bewitched
archeologist of
your maya-delirium.

You are
the slithering pythoness
who abides the fabrics
of my unconscient undergrounds
and scales my myriad neuroses
making me
a nothingness fool.
And I am the God
talking with you
inside your
schizophrenic head.

My psyche, your dream-manifold
I am your dream
where you can see me
not thinking
but dreaming of you.
Everything is a lie
a lowly spoof,
a grotesque caricature
of a paradise lost;
Except the fact
we all are
each others
reciprocal dreams.

Matter is no more
than the spirit on meth
and the whole conscious world
we have crafted
out of our head
Is just a madman’s dream.
We all are shapes of fire;
A singular supra-soul
celebrating psychic entanglements
in God’s vineyard.



Fractal Nothingness

Fractals, fractures
tortuous kinks
dissipate my tear-pearls
on your inimitable rough;
My soul contours
you can’t scale
lie there
don’t think for a while
don’t watch 
with your eyes liar
your bewitched thoughts
are Orpheus'
lying lyre
lost in a hood
 from a distant
galaxy nether.

I am low, I am high
I am the highest ebb
of your lowest low
I am a spiritualist bohemian
of all the withins
of without-junkies;
Supernova slut
how you die
in the lonesome dark
your stellar loneliness
is the most
primordial mind-fuck;
Quantum fluctuations
diffractions of bifurcations
soul vapors, colloidal glide;
Steamy-eyed, dreamy sighs
you cry, you cry
till you dry, you die.
and enraged you rise
is a void empyrean.

Unexplored crevices
untrodden turfs
of fractal null omniscience
superconscient me
tucked in silty shiny
unconscient dreamscapes silk;
I fill in the blanks
I empty space
I dye their contours
with my lilac blood;
Protean and devoid
fractal and fractured
I stand, I dance
I am the geometer
of cosmic null
I am the Euclid
of soul-psyche-hyperspace.
Sweetly, I dispense
on your categories and tool
makes that unholy atomism
wholesome and god.

We are the reciprocal ripples
of our own loneliness
and endless fragmentations
that follow
you consecrate
you desecrate
does it really matter?
My psychoid, schizoid
remain unalloyed
and pure
form the ether
of every anthropoid insane;
A noisy signal
a psychic-wave
distorts the undulations
of noosphere
yet turbulent.

Dearest yous
your mechanics of love
is the biggest scam
millennia old
a lie that towers
to behemoth heights
you no more than a drug-dealer
selling dope,
truth sugarcoats.
You have heaven above;
I have everything within
You call it divine;
I see it unholy low
but my friend
I never did
and I will never hate
I will stay moist
I will take the shit
supple and forgiving
like a wild wet rose
holy lonesome whole
bliss-pain indivisible.


Maya Nothingness



I am still one with you
holding onto you close
heart of your heartbeats
that ethereal umbilical chord
they can see it
through their tongue
and touch it with their eyes
Just they can’t think
of you and me
and the singularity
of One in all
and all in One.
I am still your friend;
Unborn and faceless
of your gossamer skin.

Your curvatures
your lineaments
contours of my dreamscapes
topology of my soul-alleys
deep, dark light !
lightening bolt
I catch it with my hand
and drink it in haste.
Labyrinthine canyons
widowed gorges
infinity of vastness
sibilant and cold.
Schizoid grey cells, sickness!
dementia of sanity
corpses of thoughts.
But I am absolved
I am untouched
In your arms;
I am benedicted 
when you die.

I stare at nothing
I stare at stars
I stare at stars-nothing
starey starry eyed
a gaze that doesn’t look
Is the best I ever had.
I think with
my middle finger
thought that doesn’t think
categories die;
They burn in flames
a rose stinks and
a pearl stops to shine;
Matter and mind
life and death
love and hate?
What are
you rambling about?
everything shines lapis-lazuli
everything dances
smells a frail wet rose
when the sanity dissolves
when I dream of you
dreaming of me.
The original soul
visits the sanctuary
of demi-gods in silence
watches, but doesn’t think
amidst the unthinkable vastness
fluid and quiet.

Let's talk aloud in silence
dialogue is a lie
interwoven textures
fabrics of reciprocal dreams;
My presence, an illusion
a psychogenic rapture
an orgasmic trance
of your intoxicated null.
My brothers, we all
are cursed with knowledge
too dwarf
too weak to unthink
and incarcerated with views
we can’t ever love;
Ethics, aesthetics and politics
of love, compassion and peace
is a lie
a big fat lie!
we all have gone mad
before going mad
to be stamped sane
from the sanitarium
of lies and cries. 



Sudeep Adhikari, from Kathmandu, Nepal, considers poetry to be an impersonal act, largely deriving its content from unconscious psychic undergrounds. His works have recently been featured in Verse-Virtual, Arlington Literary Journal, Zombie Logic Review, DEAD SNAKES, UFO GIgolo, Literary Yard and The Peregrine Review.